Milton E. Malespin’s Definitive Rankings of the Star Wars Films

(Originally Published on Coffee and a Script on May 4th, 2020)

So with Rise of Skywalker out on Disney+, we’ve pretty much mercifully and finally ended the Skywalker Saga, through better and through worse. The Star Wars franchise has indeed gives us lots of memorable cinematic, television, and even gaming moments, but alongside that we have generations of fans each with their own interpretations and impressions of each small trilogy and the series as a whole. We have some that enjoys the new movies, we have some that defend the prequels, and we have some (like me) that firmly believe in the power of the original trilogy while willing to slightly stand up for some of the later films.

I am going to give you my definitive cinematic Star Wars rankings, from the worst to the best. They will include the cinematic spin-offs as well. On top of that, for each film I will also break down five categories:

Best Feature

Biggest Weakness

Best Contribution to Star Wars

Worst Contribution to Star Wars

One Storyline Element I’d Change

Now, these are all my opinions and mine alone, so feel free to disagree and such. Like I said, Star Wars is a multi-generational franchise with a wide array of fans, so your rankings will more than likely differ from mine. Nonetheless, May the 4th be with you all, and stay safe during these wild times.

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#12: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

This movie never happened, and what’s really wild is how much the cartoon improved over the years since its original pilot which was this shitflick. Dull animation, poor writing, poor plot, and to be honest no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And it’s such a shame because if it had anywhere near the quality, the surprise, and the tone of the latter Clone Wars seasons, then maybe the final third of the Star Wars trilogy would have gone to the writers and producers of the television show as opposed to the decision to give it to three wildly different directors and storytellers.

Best Feature: It ended.

Biggest Weakness: It completely watered down the Star Wars mythos

Best Contribution to Star Wars: Ashoka. Severely underdeveloped here, becomes a good main player afterwards

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Pretty much flunked its theatrical test run, and would ultimately separate itself from the cinematic counterparts even though the content improved significantly as time went on.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: I would have just deleted all of this to be honest.

#11: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Somewhere in this movie is a quality epic concerning the politics of fear and the delicate line between good and evil. Somewhere in this movie is a grandiose forbidden love story between an essential piece in preventing civil war and a young powerful jedi-in-training whom we all know will ultimately succumb. But because of the over-reliance on special effects, the terrible dialogue, and a narrative that goes everywhere, Attack of the Clones falls flat on its face.

Part of what made the original trilogy special was its ability to use practical effects and excellent production value to sell its audience the vast array of environments that exists within its universe. But Episode II focuses more on visual effects, and it doesn’t impress as much as say the futuristic environments in the 1997 film The Fifth Element or even the 2002 masterclass Minority Report. The action sequences don’t quite live up to Lord of the Rings or even Spider-Man. Attack of the Clones came out during a time when other films and franchises started catching up to Star Wars in terms of quality and technological achievements. Rumor has it Steven Spielberg had been considered to direct a Star Wars movie. And considering Spielberg’s obvious contributions to the sci-fi genre, one can only dream what could have been.

Best Feature: Not enough is ever said about John Williams’ musical contributions. Even if it’s a pain to look at these movies sometimes, its always a joy to listen to them.

Biggest Weakness: The dialogue really undercut the good ideas, and under a better scriptwriter we could have had something here.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: The backstory of Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the definite highlights of the prequel trilogy.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Jar Jar Binks. Still.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Under the assumption that George Lucas planned it all out, I would have ended Attack of the Clones with the opening action scene of Revenge of the Sith. Imagine ending the film with Anakin decapitating Dooku at the climax. That would do a much much better job of preparing us for his dark turn in the following chapter.

#10: Solo: A Star Wars Story

What really harms this movie is the sheer pointlessness of it all. We didn’t really ask for this backstory, we didn’t really want to see anyone else playing the role of Han Solo in the first place. And if we wanted a Han film, it would have been better to cover the years between Return of the Jedi and Force Awakens—especially considering his death in the latter. Solo’s lack of success comes after the fact that after The Last Jedi, we STILL did not get a proper goodbye scene for Han Solo. Not from Luke, not from Leia, not from anybody.

This entertaining movie is bogged down by the fact that it kept playing the nostalgia, which was even removing some of the drama of certain scenes, like the kessel run and the unexpected Darth Maul reveal.

Best Feature: Emilia Clarke. Always. Forever and always.

Biggest Weakness: Wrong movie, wrong timeline to pick, wrong time to release it.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: Emilia Clarke. Give her more roles. Doesn’t even have to be the same character.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: The fact that the Millennium Falcon contains the remains of a robot that had perished.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Jabba the Hutt instead of Darth Maul on that twist ending would have been much better because it would have set up Solo2 much stronger.

#9: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Star Wars fans normally point to this film specifically when comparing the films as a sign of the prequel’s supposed superior quality over Rise of Skywalker and Last Jedi. However, I don’t agree with that sentiment, even if the prequel trilogy was way way way better structured as a whole. Revenge of the Sith has way more memorable moments especially considering its building the story behind cinema’s greatest villain. Order 66, Anakin choking Padme, his near-death, his rebirth as Vader, him killing Mace Windu, etc.

But once again, the special effects overkill and the awful dialogue really hurts what could have been a great dark final chapter in the prequel trilogy. Padme deserved a much better sending away, Anakin’s turn should have been more thoroughly fleshed out as opposed to some quick decision during the Windu/Palpatine showdown, and General Grievous….what a waste…especially after his appearances in the original Clone Wars cartoons of 2003. Similar to Attack of the Clones, better continuity than the post-Disney years, lots of great ideas, but overall I really wished for a better director and writer to helm the mammoth chapter. Look how well Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi were when there were other people involved alongside George Lucas.

Best Feature: This is probably the Star Wars film with the most action if we’re being honest. Ewan McGregor deserves more praise, and the John Williams score shines again.

Biggest Weakness: Look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Harry Potter series, and the prequels. Clearly one of the three has aged the poorest in terms of visuals.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: Order 66, and the assortment of memes that came from this.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: “She lost the will to live”

One Storyline Element I’d Change: “She lost the will to live.”

On a side-note, the Darth Maul/Obi-Wan fight at the desert from Star Wars Rebels would have made for an amazing final scene to Episode III, but of course the ideas and storylines were developed way after 2005, and of course it was never planned to resurrect Darth Maul.

#8: Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace

I think I give this movie a bit more grief than I should. If you were to take away everything Jar Jar Binks related and you could have had a solid film that nonetheless started establishing some issues that would harm the prequels entirely. The movie does however have a more straightforward story, has better villains, and a better representation of what Star Wars should be. The podracer sequence is arguably the best pointless scene in a Star Wars movie, as it was a thrill in the theaters even if it doesn’t serve the story much. The final act though gives us an awesome Darth Maul duel and a decent final battle that displays a young Anakin with great piloting skills.

Phantom Menace made a good first chapter, even with its Jar Jar Flaws. The sequels would scurry away from what made Episode I entertaining. I firmly believe with tighter editing and the removal of certain characters and we would have seen a better response. Also if we could stop killing all the cool characters that would also be nice……

Best Feature: Plenty of entertainment, great chemistry between Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor. Sets up the rest of the trilogy well even if the subsequent chapters…well…fails.

Biggest Weakness: Jar. Jar. Binks. And not as many practical effects as the original trilogy.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: Obi-Wan’s backstory, the introduction of Darth Maul.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Jar. Jar. Binks.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Qui-Gon and Darth Maul survive. Liam Neeson was sorely missing in Episode II and Episode III, and Darth Maul is part of a long, LONG line of great characters with limited screentime in Star Wars lore (well, cinematically, because of course the tv shows revive him)

#6: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

and

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

(TIE)

(Yes, a Tie)

Alright, let’s go.

The Last Jedi is a well-made film that does a horrible job inserting itself into the Star Wars mythos. The Rise of Skywalker was a ho-hum film that does a better job re-establishing itself into the Star Wars lore and fixing some of Last Jedi’s rather glaring character mistakes. Both films failed because neither one connects with each other nor with Force Awakens anywhere near as good as the prequels. These films are better than the prequels, but when combined with the rest of Star Wars they stand out like sore thumbs. Both are entertaining, yes, but both are also mindlessly frustrating. The big lesson here is that sometimes, listening to fans is the wrong thing to do, but sometimes, wanting to subvert expectations on an established franchise after SEVEN chapters will lead to disastrous results.

The Last Jedi angered me, confused me, frustrated me. The special effects were phenomenal, there were a lot of cool ideas, and the acting by Mark Hamill and Daisy Ridley is top-notch. Plenty of surprises, and it was surprisingly hilarious. That being said, it just doesn’t feel like Star Wars most of the time. What makes it worse is that in the deleted scenes it was obvious we could have lost the weakest story beats involving the casino and could have gotten more training footage of Luke and Rey. It was a movie that wanted to kill its past but never present it with a proper ending. Luke’s sendoff was poor, Leia’s disappearance and reappearance in the movie was pathetic, Snoke was an intriguing character that never was fleshed out before his death. Underdeveloped characters were everywhere and this movie doesn’t give them any chance for growth: Finn, Poe, Captain Phasma, Rose, and even to an extent Rey.

The Rise of Skywalker was trying to un-do the Last Jedi damage while simultaneously continue from Force Awakens AND give us an entertaining final chapter that wraps up 40 years of storytelling. This was an impossible task especially after Disney freaked out at the reception of Last Jedi and Solo. They tried cramming a progressive story while revving up the nostalgia and giving out fan service and it was way too big a task for Abrams and company. We have a convoluted film with such a poor final act that it was obvious there were cutbacks and it was obvious that Episode IX should have split to include a tenth chapter. But Disney clearly wanted to finalize this saga so they can focus on the future. And with that, it sacrificed the quality of the entire trilogy. All three are good films individually, but as a whole…man, what could have been.

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The Last Jedi:

Best Feature: Excellent production value, Mark Hamill’s Oscar-worthy performance, actually very funny.

Biggest Weakness: Its so anti-Star Wars it hurts.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: The complicated persona of Kylo Ren, and the force-communication idea

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: The destruction of Luke Skywalker’s legacy

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Luke actually physically fights Kylo Ren, destroys the ships, sacrifices himself by fighting and succumbing to Kylo Ren, but ultimately making Kylo a prisoner at the hands of the rebellion. So the setup for Episode IX would have been, does the First Order negotiate or even pursue to get Kylo? Or do they continue on without him? Could have been great questions considering Hux’s stance on Kylo and knowledge of Snoke’s death.

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The Rise of Skywalker:

Best Feature: It’s a wild joyride through the galaxy with an entertaining first half, and its good to see Rey, Finn, and Poe together.

Biggest Weakness: *sigh* the final third of the film, and the horrifically wasted potential of the Knights of Ren

Best Contribution to Star Wars: The ability to transport items through the force, the hyperspace jumping deserves more uses in the future.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Palpatine somehow….surviving Return of the Jedi.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Kylo Ren remains bad, absorbs Palpatine’s powers by killing him, and therefore having a final showdown against Rey having the powers of previous Jedis bonded with her. Whatever, its over now.

#5: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

This is a good Star Wars film, and it was the best film Disney ALLOWED them to make.

This was clearly getting the feet wet while establishing the trilogy. Abrams directed this good flick full of wonderful moments, questions, humor, character, and Star Wars satisfaction that would ultimately be undone by the subsequent chapters. Think about it, if Rey had been fully fleshed out in the following chapters alongside Kylo Ren and Finn then Force Awakens would be standing taller. Instead, all the characters introduced here just don’t have the staying power because their characterizations are never quite fully realized. J.J. Abrams did a great job establishing the storylines, but Disney and Co. never really followed up on them and instead allowed Rian Johnson to go in wild directions the fanbase clearly would not receive well.

Abrams introduced the concept of evolving beyond the original trilogy characters by making Leia a general, by killing off a hardened Han Solo, making R2-DS and C-3PO mostly dormant, and pretty much repeatedly displaying the death of Vader with the broken helmet—meaning there are new enemies to focus on. The biggest issue with the new trilogy is that it failed to become the next stepping stone after the quiet but reliable Force Awakens.

Best Feature: It’s a good opening chapter to what would become a misguided trilogy

Biggest Weakness: It still felt a bit too much like A New Hope, but I’m sure that was Disney’s demands.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: A lot of potentially great characters and storylines. Say what you will about the writing, but there was so much potential for Rey, Finn, Poe, and even Rose and Snoke.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Starkiller Base had none of the energy and the intrigue of the Death Star.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Han Solo getting killed, but holding a grenade while getting stabbed so if he has to go down, he’s gotta take Kylo with him.

#4: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Clearly the most underrated of the Star Wars films, Rogue One is Star Wars but feels fresh by having a more grounded take on the events happening within its galactic universe. We have a good villain here, we have a few major surprises, and most importantly of all the concept of rebellion, hope, and sacrifices that sometimes have to be made for the greater good are fully established here—–even if the characters aren’t. Action, drama, blurry morality, and a great connection to the Star Wars universe makes this an unexpectedly powerful film that makes the subsequent chapters in the new trilogy really feel off-putting.

I do wish the film spent more time with the main crew, but it does make sense in the end because…well….nobody survived. This at the theater was a bit of a shock considering Disney usually likes the happier endings and at the very least have a few survivors. Then came the Vader scene, which really elevated the shock value of the final act several notches. Rogue One is a fine modern Star Wars film, and I wish more of the cast here had worked on the sequels.

Best Feature: The cinematography here is spectacular. The Vader scene is the type of Sith horror that not one, REPEAT, not one film had been able to create since Empire Strikes Back.

Biggest Weakness: Can you even name any of the main characters though?

Best Contribution to Star Wars: The explanation for the one main plot hole in A New Hope

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: The idea to use a fully-CGI character as opposed to an actor/actress that looks like the original.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Nothing here, the narrative was tight

#3: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

A grandiose conclusion to the epic trilogy that started it all. The ewoks definitely got some negative feedback but after Jar Jar Binks we realized it could have been much much worse. The final chapter wrapped everything up nice and tight, gave us a grand final act full of aerial warfare and a heroic battle between good and evil. But along the way we were treated to more locales, more surprises, and an excellent opening sequence involving Jabba the Hutt and the intense rescue of Han Solo.

I firmly believe in this day and age where television shows have improved tenfold in terms of narrative structure and cohesive continuity from one chapter to the next, we take cinematic trilogies and series for granted, we assume its easy to accomplish as long as you have enough money and big name stars. It is hard to create a good trilogy, extremely hard. The prequel trilogy didn’t live up to expectations, and the latest one didn’t either. The original Star Wars trilogy is so strong it stands the test of time and remains the benchmark for all science fiction. And it requires a properly good ending. Return of the Jedi is that good ending.

Best Feature: Properly wrapping up a complicated and epic trilogy with minimal setbacks

Biggest Weakness: We never get to see Luke Skywalker at the true peak of his powers

Best Contribution to Star Wars: The very strong aspects about the balance of the Force, Leia as a potential future Jedi even if we never got Episodes 7-9 until decades later and Carrie Fisher couldn’t do such a role.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Force lightning. Not a fan. Never was.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Boba Fett survives, instead of us waiting decades for him to be eventually revealed in The Mandalorian.

#2: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

The original.

The masterpiece.

The one that started it all.

The film is practically perfect. It sets up a hero’s journey through spectacular production design, great musical score, superb cinematography, the best visual effects at the time, and an outstanding mix of lovable characters and mysterious species and villains that sets up enough questions to make five sequels. It established a brand new universe with unlimited possibilities, set up a new form of heroism in the form of the Jedi Knight. A New Hope created something moviegoers had never seen before, and introduced ideas and ideals with so much depth people to this day establish it as a religion.

A New Hope was the perfect setup for a long-standing series, for an epic franchise that will survive the test of time. And yes we can discuss the dialogue being a bit rough and maybe some of the action not aging very well. But the movie is full of thrills, suspense, action, tension, and a spectacular story of good versus evil that’s hard to root against. George Lucas may have gone in over his head with his creation over the years but in the beginning he delivered a grandiose experience that would change cinema and American culture forever.

Best Feature: Its Star Wars, it has it all: characters, memorable moments, action, a mystique you can’t find in most movies, and just an overall entertainment factor that blockbusters always struggle to reach.

Biggest Weakness: eh, the dialogue.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: Everything.

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: The love triangle that should have never ever happened.

One Storyline Element I’d Change: nothing.

#1: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

There is no other answer.

Its Star Wars but takes dramatic risks. This is Last Jedi except it still sticks with the consistent characterizations of everyone involved yet increases the stakes heavily. Everything in here works, it’s a New Hope on steroids. Music is better, special effects is better, Darth Vader is at his most psychotic, this one has the best developing love story, has the biggest surprises in the history of the franchise, is the darkest without becoming too bleak, locales are more diverse, and overall is easily the most complete blockbuster experience in the history of films. It would raise the bar a dozen notches for very, very few blockbuster sequels to match (Last Crusade, Dead Man’s Chest, Toy Story 2 are among the very few examples). There’s nothing more to say, Empire Strikes Back is easily, EASILY the best Star Wars film ever made.

Best Feature: Dark, action-packed, sometimes terrifying, sometimes hilarious, all-around incredible. Everything. Expands the Star Wars universe and the whimsical ways of the Force.

Biggest Weakness: Luke made out with Leia.

Best Contribution to Star Wars: “I am your father”

Worst Contribution to Star Wars: Luke made out with Leia

One Storyline Element I’d Change: Luke made out with Leia….that shouldn’t happen.

Here’s to hoping the next few chapters in the franchise turn out to be good.